Numerous times after our sister's death, we were told that grief was just part of the "grief process." In fact, days after Shannon's death, we tried to figure out what stage we were in - so we could get through the "process" as soon as possible. However, we soon realized that it was very difficult to apply a defined process to our grief.

We began researching the "grief process" and discovered that it was developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-born psychiatrist and author of On Death and Dying and the Kubler-Ross model. Ms. Ross categorized feelings associated with death and dying into a five-step process that included denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This same theory was applied in defining feelings associated with grief after a death. Ultimately, the theory turned into a norm in American society and is now accepted as the standard way to grieve.

We developed a very different opinion about the "grief process" after learning to live our life without our sister. From our research and personal experience, we view death as a transition in a person's life. It is a personal journey where one begins to define a new identity, usually not by their own choice - especially if the death is unexpected. The journey may be simple or complex, and sometimes leads to personal or spiritual growth.

Our philosophy also says that there is no defined end to grief after a loss. Yes, there is truth to the saying "It will get easier with time." However, this fact still remains: a loved one is gone. Thus, learning to live without a loved one can be challenging and may take an entire lifetime because each individual has their own perspective of the relationship they felt they had with the person who died. In addition, every grief experience is uniquely its own and belongs to the person experiencing it and no one else. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

We also believe that after a death, there's no "getting over it." Instead, it's about rebuilding, centering, grounding, exploring, creating, crying, questioning, relaxing and anything else someone determines they need to redefine their life while embracing the journey they are experiencing. We strongly encourage individuals to seek professional psychological counseling to discuss the lifelong transition one may experience after a loved one's death.